1. On the Road with Uncle Willard and Dad

My Sis and I knew something special was going to happen this Christmas because Dad and Mom were acting really weird. Cousin Ronny said something funning was going on at his house, too. Sis and I looked all through the house trying to find what it was that Dad and Mom were hiding. But no matter how hard we looked, we couldn’t find a thing. Christmas morning came and went. We opened each present with great anticipation, but all we got were the usual toys and new clothes.

Soon all the presents were open. Dad got up and said he had to go to the bathroom. Mom went into the kitchen to get some more eggnog. Sis and I looked at each other and sighed. Suddenly we heard a loud honking outside. It was Dad in a big, new camper. So that was why Dad and Mom had been acting strange. Sis and I ran outside to check it out. “Pack your bags, kids,” Dad said when we opened the door to the camper.

“We’re going away for a week!” We ran back into the house. “Mom, Dad pulled up in a big new camper!” we cried out. “Yes, isn’t it great,” she said. “And we’re going to go on a trip right after lunch,” Mom told us. “Now hurry upstairs and get some clothes ready.” Sis and I bounded upstairs to our bedrooms and began getting together the clothes we’d need for the trip. Mom came up soon and helped us pack them into our bags.

As soon as we were packed, we hauled our bags down to the camper and helped Dad and Mom get ready for our unexpected trip. I was so excited about the camper and the trip that I forgot to call cousin Ronny. I was about to run back into the house to call Ronny when we heard some honking right behind us. It was Uncle Willard, Aunt Lenora, Ronny, and Hellen. And they were in a camper, too.

It turned out that Dad and Uncle Willard had wanted to get campers for a long time so they could take vacations together. This was turning out to be the best Christmas ever. For the first couple of hours we followed Uncle Willard down the highway. But when sis and I started fighting, Dad signaled for Uncle Willard to pull off at the next rest stop. The adults decided that maybe it would be better if the men were in one camper and the women in the other. Sis stuck out her tongue at me as she went into the other camper with Mom, Aunt Lenora, and Hellen. I stuck my tongue out back at her. I’d rather be with Ronny, Uncle Willard, and Dad any day.

Dad and Uncle Willard sat up front while Ronny and I settled into the upper bunk at the rear of the camper. It was great. There was a curtain we could close so no one could see us. Ronny and I watched the scenery and the cars and trucks as we rolled down the highway. When we passed trucks Ronny and held up our fists and pulled them up and down to get them to blow their horns. We weren’t having real good luck until Ronny had this bright idea that if we pulled our weewees out, they’d sound their horns for sure.

At first I wasn’t so sure about that, but when Ronny pointed out that we were up too high for any cars to see us, I went along. It worked like a charm. We’d wave our weewees and pump our fists and every single trucker we saw blasted their horns as hard as they could. Ronny kept getting nastier, and even pumped his until it was hard and sticking up high. I laughed and joined him. But when I got mine all stiff and hard, Ronny went further and pulled off his jeans. Then he took off his shirt. He lay their naked as a jay bird getting every trucker to sound their horn. Of course I had to do the exact same thing.

We passed one truck with two truckers. When they saw us in the back of the camper, they speeded up and followed us real close. Then they both took off their shirts and then the trucker who wasn’t driving sat up and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. He swung a really big, hard one at us and then pumped it. He stroked it while they followed right behind us. It was real exciting. “He sure has a big one,” Ronny sighed. “Yeah, and look how fat it is,” I noted. Ronny and I were stroking our wieners and getting all worked up. The truckers were as excited as we were. Then the trucker pressed his wiener right up against the window pane and white cream shot out, coating the glass with a glaze of milk. “Wow,” Ronny exclaimed.

He pumped his pecker hard until he let out a gasp and cream splattered all over his belly. I followed soon behind. Then we both laughed and laughed. We’d never had so much fun. The truckers let out a long, loud horn blast and then slowed down. As we wiped up our juices in the sheets, we laughed. 7 We were still naked and talking about what had happened when we noticed that the camper was slowing down. “Shit,” Ronny said. “They’re pulling off the freeway.” We scurried to get our clothes back on, and just in time. The camper came to a stop and Uncle Willard pulled open the curtain. He looked at us and took a deep sniff. “Ready for some lunch, boys?” he asked. “Yeah,” we said.